


Some Kind Of Psychological Gratification

by Darth_Cannizard



Category: The Alienist (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-23
Updated: 2020-05-23
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:48:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24344524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darth_Cannizard/pseuds/Darth_Cannizard
Summary: He hears voices as he enters his grandmother's garden. "The murders are in service of some kind of psychological gratification" is the first sentence that John Moore hears.
Relationships: Laszlo Kreizler/John Moore
Comments: 9
Kudos: 50





	Some Kind Of Psychological Gratification

**Author's Note:**

  * For [xsunny](https://archiveofourown.org/users/xsunny/gifts).



> Thank you for encouraging me to write this story, U_Bahnstation and quicksiluers and thank you, Sunny, for telling me today what you told me in private.

He hears voices as he enters his grandmother's garden. "The murders are in service of some kind of psychological gratification" is the first sentence that John Moore hears. He takes his hat off, not because of his good upbringing and courtesy, but because of the emotional importance he attaches to the speaker of the sentence he just heard.  
  
Laszlo is here. He sits in the gazebo with John's grandmother. Laszlo is here and John's heart is beating faster.  
  
And then Laszlo invites him to the opera and if John didn't know better, he would say that Gran suddenly looks very happy and relieved. But he is definitely wrong.

*

It is a few days after they catch Drury, _John Beecham_. Sara explains to him calmly and reasonably, just as it is her way, that she acknowledges that he actually loves her and that she likes him very much, but that she cannot accept his offer because John's heart belongs to someone else and that John's heart will never belong to her because he is so fulfilled with this other person.  
  
It takes John a few days to gather his courage.  
  
"Where are you going?" asks his grandmother when he is ready to leave the house that evening.  
  
"I follow my heart's deepest wish," says John.  
  
She smiles after the door has closed behind him.

The new maid lets him in.  
  
And then he's alone with _him_. Finally all alone with _him_.  
  
"I have to tell you something urgently," Laszlo says to him and looks down. "I've been carrying this thought with me for quite a long time and thought that it would be good if I shared it with you ..." he falls silent in the middle of the sentence. The clock ticking in the background is very loud and John has the feeling that the time is expanding and passing more slowly. As if the watch no longer measures seconds and minutes, but as if it becomes the time between the individual beats of his heart.  
  
"What do you want to tell me?"

Instead of a spoken answer, the room becomes even quieter. Laszlo seems to be gathering his courage. And then.  
  
And then John closes his eyes when he is kissed very gently and tenderly. More specifically, it's not even a real kiss, just a pair of soft lips that touch his for a moment. Timid. Shy.

  
He doesn't respond. He is afraid that he will wake up as soon as he moves and find out that this is just a dream. Just something his subconscious shows him because he wants it so much.  
  
"Forgive me, John," Laszlo says, and his beautiful hazel eyes fill with tears. "Forgive me for misunderstanding and misusing your trust as a friend in this way. I misjudged the situation ...”  
  
Before he can step back ashamed with eyes cast downwards, John grabs his left hand and holds him. "Forgive me, beloved," says John, "that I have waited so long to explain to you how I feel about you."  
  
The hug that follows in response to his words is everything John ever wanted.

And his heart is finally content.


End file.
